Friday, June 20, 2014

Amada sin medida

2014. Is it only June 20?

The beginning of this year began like a dream, but by the end of January and halfway through February, I abruptly awoke from many dreams. Loss seemed to hover over each week. I waited for the next phone call, text, email, or conversation that brought heart breaking news. My heart had never physically hurt like it did and I never thought putting one foot in front of the other would require so much strength. I tried to hide the extent of what I felt, but couldn't. (I am more thankful for Pam Brassart now than I have ever been. I saw daily, sometimes hourly, the true character of my Mama. She truly is a gem and deserves to be called blessed). And I admit that Jesus was who I tried to seek but darkness seem to shroud his face. Some of you know what I am talking about. Others may not ,and that is okay. I had to see the day minute by minute and not as a 24hr day. (Believe me, I know how crazy it sounds, because I thought I was crazy).

Why did more than one special relationship end either by human decision-making or by death?
Why did a dream of grad school crumble?
Why was my practicum not what I hoped?
Why did granddaddy pass away a month before graduation?
Actually, why did any of this happen before graduation?

I don't humanly know. 

BUT there are several things I do know. 

Someone very dear shared these things that helped alter my perspective. 
1. We cannot truly be like Jesus unless we have experienced sorrow. He was the man of sorrows.
2. We are in good company when Satan bullies and darkness hides Jesus. Peter told Jesus he would never deny him. Jesus compassionately responded saying, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat, but I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail." Even now, Jesus is sitting beside God the Father and interceding on our behalf.
3. He wounds so that he may heal. His timing is not ours and the process may take longer than we imagined, but Joy will come.

Today, I am still lying in bed recovering from a surgery that has caused me to be on my stomach and sides for almost a month. There have been good days and bad days, and I have continued to learn a few things.

1. Jesus really can do more than we ask or imagine: I am moving to Baylor in little over a week. The grad school dream is back.
2. He allowed and He really did know all along what 2014 would hold thus far, and he knew to the extent my heart would hurt and how it would need to be healed.
3. "He is too wise to make a mistake and too loving to be unkind."

Today I received an incredible graduation gift. In high school Spanish, I was given the name Amada. Today, I opened a gift that says, "Amada sin medida." That translates to "loved beyond measure." How special to have the reminder that my name whether in English or Spanish (Amiee or Amada) means "beloved."

2014 has happened for my good and His glory.
You and I are loved beyond measure.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


The little girl, with what seemed like only a few strands of blonde hair, loved for water to slowly trickle out of the faucet as she contemplated her 2 year old world during bath time. The protector that he was, Granddaddy said, "Baby, it is too hot. I'm going to turn it off." She replied with "No, it isn't." He responded with a protector answer again. Following a little banter back and forth, the blue eyed, blonde looked up and said, "Don't argue me, Granddaddy!" His laughter couldn't be helped, but as protector he had to fulfill his duties, and he did. 

With Granddaddy, life couldn't be better. Ice cream was always on the nightly menu. My stuffed animal collection was never too big for one more trip to KB Toys, especially when the giant, stuffed Albino gorilla sat on the shelf (You know… The time in life when you go through wanting to be a zookeeper for albino gorillas, because the one at KB Toys is so fluffy and sweet.. it happens). When cracking pecans from the pecan trees, eating more than we should was okay. John Wayne was our hero. Hardee's biscuit and gravy was served promptly when we woke up. Listening to the story about his job at the donut shop or his paper route was expected. For me, I knew that our special, extended bed time was promptly at 10pm, but I also knew he would listen to me ramble about anything and everything before he or I drifted off to sleep. He would be present at programs big or small…always smelling like Stetson (my favorite) and with a proud grin on his face! You could count on remarkable paint jobs for vehicles that needed a new look. His grass always looked pristine and flowers would be ready for each season. You knew a stray cat would be lurking nearby for the cat food he always had on hand. You knew that cards would come on Valentine's and Easter, and the date would be written on the card. Along with the card, there would be a stuffed animal that matched the particular season. That was always a plus! You knew that church and family were important. Quiet faith was reflected in a very big heart.

 We all know that he loves us. 

There has never been a doubt in my mind that Granddaddy would or did give everything he felt we needed and/or wanted. Growing up in a mill village, during the Great Depression, made him a man bent on providing and giving those that followed him every opportunity to excel. He married his high school sweetheart, and they had two spectacular and selfless daughters. He always encouraged education and working hard. He knew about hard work and what it felt like to come home after a long day. He worked in the boiler room of Navy tug boats and painted Army tanks. He also knew and spoke about the joy of having my Auntie and mama as daughters. But, oh…grandchildren. Ask him about his car tags that say "Let me tell you about my grandchildren" or the one that says "If I knew grandchildren were so fun, I would have had them first." Those are real. I can show you, because those sentiments are true. He has loved us all with all of his heart.  

More importantly, he has loved Jesus. When the time comes, he will wake up and see his face. He will stand complete without any pain he has suffered the past several years and these past couple of weeks. He will be reunited with his girl, Polly. He will been given sight to his faith. How we long for him to stay. We want to love on him, to watch John Wayne with him, or bake pecan pies with him. While it is heart breaking for us, what a glorious thought that he is close to our resurrected Jesus and will be for ages and ages to come. 

It is hard to let go. It hurts to let go. We do not want to let him go. With Easter approaching, we can be grateful. As a family bent on hope, we are staring death in the face and saying "No! You cannot and will not win this fight.  Granddaddy belongs to Jesus, because Jesus paid it all. So, move over and let him and us walk into His glorious light." Though they will be different steps, heavenly steps for Granddaddy and earthly steps for us, we will be closer than we were before. Jesus will be drawing us to himself. 

The same little blonde has grown to 22 years of age. In her heart, she is saying "Don't argue me, Granddaddy. You have taken care of us and loved us to the best of your ability. Now it is time for us to return the favor. Let us be protector for the time we have, until Jesus bids you come home. We love you." 

*There are boy cousins too, but there is a lot more estrogen in this family. :) Fellas, if you need help with girls, be like granddaddy! 

Saturday, February 15, 2014

The BFF Challenge

When I was little, the movie this character is in "disappeared" for a time. I might have gotten carried away watching it over and over in our tv room. I just loved it, y'all. I just really loved it….. I still do.

Drumroll please! bdddddddddd!

Oh, Abu. No one can deny those big ole friendly eyes. Although, I do believe we all wish his eyes didn't get so greedy in the Cave of Wonders….. Despite all of his shenanigans, he is Aladdin's bff, and Abu even comes around to liking Jasmine. That is an accomplishment.
Who doesn't love their best friends?

The Character: Abu

The Outfit: Blouse from Banana Republic from Mom 2012
                  Brown skirt from NY&Co 2008
                  Sparkly flats from Target 2011
                  Gold bracelet borrowed from Kyleigh 

The Disneybound Inspiration: 

BFFs are the best. Don't forget to tell them. 

Love & Sparkles* 

The Plaza Challenge

This character is one of my favorites. This character's movie came out in 2006, and I have loved it since. The first time we ever saw the movie it was on ABC Family, and we didn't get the blank VHS in the recording mode in time. It took a year to track it down again. Thankfully, it is now on DVD, and gets at least one yearly showing.

Drumroll please! bddddddddddd! 

The spunky and feisty yet tender hearted and lovable Eloise. If your DVD player is broken have no fear, Erin and I could quote 97.6% of it without any help. Just call us up and we will be there. It is a Brassart Boswell favorite, and Christmas isn't the same without it. 

The Character: Eloise

The Outfit: White Blouse from Loft 2010
                   Black cardigan from B.Moss 2007
                   Jeans from Loft 2010
                   Red flats from Target 2008

The Disneybound Inspiration:

Click here and watch a short clip that Erin and I have reenacted on MANY occasions. I'm sure you will be shocked!

Love & Sparkles*

The Always on Your Shoulder Challenge

This character is not in a movie I desired to watch over and over. I do think that this character can always bring a little smile. In one sense, I believe it is part of this character's job. Hopefully you will agree. First, I will show you the outfit.

Drumroll please! bdddddddddd! 

What a guy Jiminy Cricket is. He can help, if you let him. Plus, like Mushu, he is "travel size for your convenience." 

The Character: Jiminy Cricket

The Outfit: Black Blazer from Parisian before it turned Belk 2006 (yes, that is the right year)
                  Mustard shirt from Mama 2012
                  Jeans from LOFT 2010
                  Blue headband from Mama 2012
                  Sparkly Oxfords from DSW 2011

The Disneybound Inspiration: 

I'm not really sure what I was doing here, but I thought an outtake would be funny.

Love & Sparkles*

The Sly Challenge

Well, here I am again asking you to guess. I know it has been months. I hope you can bear with me a little while longer.

The voice of Roger Miller opens this classic Disney tale. It is an odd mix of a whimsical and a modern tale. It was one of my favorites nonetheless, and the dvd is currently sitting on the bookshelf in my living room.

Drumroll please! bddddddddddddd!!!

Robin Hood (the sly red fox as I like to call him). That's who! You may be asking yourself, "What does this fox say?" Well, he says a lot with his actions. His methodology may not be the most upright, but he does great good for the poor in Nottingham, and he gets Maid Marian. What more could he ask for? (to continually stay out of jail is probably at the top of the list of life questions). 

The Character: Robin Hood

The Outfit: Green blouse from Anthropologie ON SALE via mom 2012
                   Jean from GAP 2010
                   Khaki jacket from Sam's 2008
                   Sparkly shoes from Target 2011
                   Necklace from NY&Co 2011

The Disneybound Inspiration:

My sly look….. I'm pretty sure I need to work on it…

Love & Sparkles*